Recently I’ve been going through all the John Cusack movies. I’ve been watching every one I possibly can. Here’s my list so far (film I’ve seen outside the last 2 weeks are marked with a “*”)
High Fidelity, Must Love Dogs, Martian Child, Being John Malkovich, Say Anything, Serendipity*, America’s Sweethearts*, The Thin Red Line*, Anastasia*, and Shadows and Fog.
I don’t know why I’ve been watching all this. I guess it’s mostly for movies like Must Love Dogs, High Fidelity, Serendipity, and Say Anything. In all those movies you know that it’s going to work out but John’s character is going through a kind of hell before it all works out.
This makes me think about Adam in the garden. Does anyone ever realize that Adam was created with a penis. So here’s Adam, created for sexual interaction with Woman but there is no Woman. Adam had to go through this period of what I envision as intense longing first. Imagine it. Adam is created for Woman but there is no Woman. There never has been, ever.
Then one days God says “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” I think Adam may have known this. ”Yes, God I am alone. What’s the deal? We should fix that!” So what does God do? He brings all the animals before Adam and has him name them and Adam was still alone. God knew Adam would still be alone after naming the animals. It’s almost as if Adam had to go through being alone before Woman was created.
He had to suffer. He had to deal with loneliness. He walked with God and there was something missing. He worked his job and was still incomplete. He had the company of animals and that wasn’t enough.
God had Woman planned from the beginning but doesn’t seem to even tell Adam about it.
We all have these deep craving to do something or be something. It’s because we are created for something. The problem is, sometimes all we have is the longing. We don’t even know what it’s for but it’s a longing as deep as the soul because we were made for a purpose. And sometimes God doesn’t tell us right away and all we have is the longing.
So Adam tries everything. He has this craving and he is active about it. He tries everything that may bring him to his full purpose. And then one day God reveals His plan. Just out of the blue, without warning, after Adam has tried with all his might to fill this craving.
I think in my life I’m naming animals right now and trying to tend my garden and walk with God, but I’m craving something. I’m not even sure what I’m craving but something tells me that I’m not created for the 9-5 weekly grind and I know I’ve cried at the thought of one day being a father (good cry). I think the most horrible thing about being single is not having someone to buy flowers for and to cheer up on grey days. I don’t know what else I can try to do. I just hope that one day God will knock me out and I’ll wake up and see that there is something beautiful there that wasn’t there before.
One of God’s biggest plans for Adam was for him to father a lot of children. I am convinced that this desire was in Adam’s soul long before Woman was created. God please reveal to me what this desire in my soul is for. I want my story to end like Serendipity not Being John Malkovich.
